My apologies for not writing blogs for three days of last week, the reason being indifferent health conditions.
1 In last 15 days , there is only one news which is highlighted in at least print and social media-is that of Punjab & Haryana farmers sitting on strike outside Delhi border against the latest farm bill which has become law after it was passed by parliament and approved by President. After seeing some photos of striking people sitting on dharna at Delhi border, I could hardly locate some poor farmers, all the people sitting there do not like farmers, but on the contrary they are looking like people from well to do families. On social media there are many videos which show that political parties have hired people to sit in dharna and they are even shouting anti Modi slogans. Some questions being asked is why only farmers from Haryana and Punjab are agitating against the new farm bill. Are they the only people who are affected by this bill?
Now if the bill is so bad then why are the farmers from other parts of country not agitating against the bill, on the contrary they are happy with the bill. The truth is the agitating people are all the middlemen whose income is being threatened, as bill gives the farmers right to sell their produce directly as per the Minimum Support Price (MSP) fixed by govt. And in Punjab, Haryana it is a known fact that politicians from Congress and Akali Dal are controlling the market, and they buy the produce from farmers at low price and sell it the market(including other states) at high price.
One myth all these politicians are circulating that these 2 states produce more than 70% of wheat and Rice in the country, actually the fact is they only contribute 28% of wheat and rice produced in the country. In the past these 2 states combined were leading producer of wheat and rice, but presently they are not the leading producing states of these items. Secondly is the farming only limited to producing rice and wheat, there are other grains, pulses, spices and fruits which are being produced by the farmers of other states, why producers of these items are not protesting. Actually this protest is basically a political one, and all the opposition parties are coming together to protest against Modi’s policies, which are not to their liking. Some of the parties even siding with these protestors when the farmers from the states, where these parties are ruling, are not agitating. Second question which comes to my mind is that when states ruled by some opposition parties are not accepting this law, they want to implement their own farm laws, Punjab state assembly has already approved the farm laws proposed by Congress govt, then I do not understand why this agitation.
2 All of use have to deal with loss and grief at some point in our life. At any age, it does not get easier deal with it. With age we face the prospect of loss of our family members, spouse, friends, even at times those younger than us. One of the worst forms of grief seniors may have to face is that of losing their children or grand children. As they say time is best healer, but at times, if not dealt properly, grief can push people to stay within themselves and may even lead to depression. Usually friends and family members rally around grieving person/s to help them to outlive the grief. Some times, it may happen that with all our efforts nad soothing words may not help grieving person, as he/she may want to grief in peace. The situation should be dealt with great amount of care, maturity and responsibility. Now How To help Someone Grieve.
- One general way of conveying condolence is ‘ It is God’s will, I know how you feel, but you have to face the situation”. This type response is very insensitive, as every person’s grief is unique, so we can not possibly feel or understand what they are going through. So it is better to say “ I can imagine how hard it must be you”. “ I am extremely sorry about your loss” or “ let me know , if there is anything I can do right now for you”. Be genuine, then perhaps, they may start talking about their memories of the departed person, which you must listen attentively, and if you have memories of that person, you may share it as well.
- It is essential to ensure that the grieving people accept the loss and start moving on in life. This is best done when they can accept the death and talk about the person as past and memory. While this may take little time, it should not be too long. Hence encourage people to talk about their loss, and get it over with to the extent possible, so that they can move on in peace, and remember the departed person fondly.
- People react differently to grief, hence allow them to grieve in their style. Allow them space to grieve as they see fit to.. While some want to avoid people and events for a while, some others may prefer to stay out of the house, to prevent memories of the de[parted person. The choice is best left to the individual, and we should not suggest them to do or not to do something.
- If they need privacy, allow them that, but also make sure to keep a watch to see that they do not go into depression. Keep in touch and offer help, if and when it is needed. Use excuses like shopping trip to check with them if they need anything or would like to come along. Running errands for them or including in such trips may help them. If you suspect any out of turn behaviour in them, it may be best to take the help of trained counsellors, who can help them come to terms with loss and move on in life.
Awaiting your views/comments/feed backs.
Anil Malik
Mumbai, India
7th December 2020