Weekend

In today’s weekend blog, I am trying to write on all together different topic, and that is human relationship.

It is a human tendency, that when you are having any relationship with other person, then if you start policing the activity of the other person, or you start restricting the movement of  the other person with a fear that he/she might leave you then that is not a good relationship and you are behaving in a foolish manner to hold on to that person. In fact every relationship needs a space, even if you place a live creature in close box, that creature is bound to die ,because it did not have any space. Similarly every relationship survives on  the space. To be in relationship any relationship, one must understand why this relationship exists. In a relationship you have to be very open with the other person, in a such a way that you should be able to point other person’s shortcomings in a gentle way. There are some people who points out other people’s shortcomings  very openly, without realising that if the other person also reacts in similar way, they may not like it. Even some people have great sense of humour and they crack jokes on the expense of other person but when someone gives them back they start sulking. Relations are always both sided.

Let us take the case of newly wed bride, as she goes to her husband’s. place, sometimes even her own mother instill the negative thoughts about in laws in her mind and afterwards tries to remote control the life of her daughter. So the new bride instead of asking her mother in law, about any thing-say even recipe of certain food item, will call her mother for the clarity, this has become possible due to cell phone. This can not be called a sensible relationship. Now there is even face book- where all types of gossips can be discussed. Where every post is liked/commented by others, which is basically to remain in the good books of person who has initiated the post, some times likes are without realising the content of the post, suppose some one writes ‘ today I am not feeling well’ or ‘today I broke with my girlfriend’, these will also attract numerous likes. All these friendships or relationships are real or they are totally farce! And what are these updates on facebook- where a person is opening his/her life in the post on facebook, what you are going to achieve by this, I have never understood. This is the most dangerous trend, as you do not keep your life’s secret with yourself.

Now let us see child’s relationship with the parents. When the child is young- the mother always tell  the child in the morning ‘hurry up  you have to go to school, hurry up otherwise you will miss school bus etc etc’. But when the same child grows up and now going to college—then if he is eating his breakfast standing, mother will say please sit down and have your breakfast properly. But she forgets that in the younger days it was ‘hurry up’, and now it can not be slowed down. Father telling a child not to speak lie, but after few minutes when child hears his father telling lies on phone, what impression it makes on the mind of child. Child observes the parents carefully, and the worst scene is when parents are fighting in front of child. Look at the case of a lady who along with young child is enquiring about her mother in law’s health in very sweet manner, but the same lady when she comes out start murmuring against her mother in law what impressions it creates on the child’s mind. Afterwards , when the child grows old and behaves in a similar fashion with  the mother, then mother will say I have not given these values to him, I do not know from where he has learnt, but she forgets that what happened earlier.

There are mothers who will tell her child I will give you what you want , but please do not tell your father or vice versa do not tell your mother. So child knows now, by manipulating  either father or mother, he can get what he wants, and the child uses the same tactics to the fullest. But when the same child grows up and starts manipulation in his life, then parents realise what they have done to the child.

Today the world has move so fast that in India people who are 50+ find it difficult to deal with tech savvy younger generation, and the same time their older generation is still living in their good old days. So to balance the relations between younger and older generation become a task by itself. Today’s generation is so dependent on gadgets that it is really difficult for the elderly to understand this. Few days back Google released an ad showing that even new born is addicted to Google, and the same Google company in other ad show how two 80 years old met through Google and continued their friendship.

Presently there is one more problem and that is TV and the way they show family relationships in the serials is totally out of this world- either it will be too good or otherwise it will be very bad. And these Saas – Bahu serials are to be blamed for the same. Indian Ladies are sold on these serials and Ekta Kapoor has become billionaire by making these serials. What they show in these serial is literally regressive but they get TRP. Instead of improving relationships,  their effect is other way.

So friends, it was my small attempt  to write some thing different.

Please do write your views/comments/feed backs, in the space provided at the end of this blog.

Anil Malik

Mumbai, India

29^th March 2109